Bay Area Healthy Kids - Bay Area Healthy Kids

What does your child’s new friend look like?

11/6/2015

What are some games your child’s friend likes to play? Do they have any illnesses you should know of?

These are some typical need-to-knows when you meet your child’s new friend for the first time. Not only do you need to get to know them, but you need to be sure you are taking good care of them, too.

With your child’s new friend, named autism, you should act as if you are introducing a new
member of the family. Be sure everyone in your household interacts similarly in order to
welcome them in and have everyone get well adjusted with this new member. The new friend is shy, and sometimes reacts differently than other children. He has particular habits and repeats the same behaviours constantly. “For someone on the highfunctioning
end of the autism spectrum, the result may be relatively mild challenges.

For someone with more severe symptoms, however, repetitive behaviors and lack of spoken language interfere with everyday life”, says Pete Pallarés, Founder at Center for Social Dynamics, an organization in charge of helping families with autistic children. Having an autistic child is a challenge without a doubt, but it’s also an opportunity to explore ways to learn from a different perspective how people with difficulties can still interact and live in this world being respected, having success and enjoying life.

One of the things families have to know is what’s good and what isn’t good for a child with
autism. If you find your child handflapping, rocking, jumping and twirling, arranging and
rearranging objects, and repeating sounds, words or phrases, these could be signs to see your doctor. “The earlier you see your doctor, the more help your child can get. Most families think these behaviours are a part of their personality, but the best way to find out is to ask a doctor’s advice”, explains Pallarés. If you know how your child’s friend, autism reacts, you can better handle your newfound relationship and try to enjoy every moment.
The three of you will be a team forever.

Pete Pallarés
CEO at Center for Social Dynamics.

Autism: Meeting your new friend.

10/6/2015

How do you react if your child’s teacher/doctor tells you that your child is a genius? But
what if the teacher tells you that they have autism?

Though both may be true, some parents feel devastated when they receive this news.
However, changing your approach to the situation can strongly affect the way your
child copes and grows with autism and how you as a parent can proactively react to
harbor a happy childhood.

Without a doubt, your autistic child will be different from the other children. But, think
of it this way; what are you looking for in a romantic partner? What about from an
employee? Uniqueness. After all, this is what life is about: to be unique and happy, and
on that front parents can help their children tremendously if they encourage them to live
with, rather than try to battle with, this new friend: autism.

First, in order to accept the situation, you need to understand what the meanings of
Autism and ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) are. Pete Pallarés, psychologist and CEO
at Center for Social Dynamics is passionate about spreading the appropriate information
about these disorders and helping parents deal with them effectively.

“These terms belong to a group of disorders which appear to have their roots in very
early brain development”, says Pete.

From Pete’s experience having worked 15 years with autistic children, early
intervention is the most effective way to deal with autism. “All the time we receive
children with autism who could have easily come during infancy to start therapy, but
parents don’t realize the importance of early intervention, so they start much later. Had
we been able to help them even a few years prior, the results would have come much
faster.”

Between the ages of the 2 and 3 years, the most obvious signs and symptoms of autism
tend to emerge. “These disorders can be characterized, in varying degrees, by
difficulties in social interaction, verbal and nonverbal communication, and repetitive
behaviors”, explained Pete Pallarés.

All these symptoms can be signs for parents to notice if their child has autism and to see
a doctor as soon as they observe this behaviour. A proactive reaction will be the
difference in your child’s future and you, the parent’s attitude will be the distinction
between bad news or good news when a family learns about this new friend in your
child’s life.

Pete Pallarés, CEO and Founder at Center for Social Dynamics.

Planning for Food Allergies at School

8/21/2015

[from kidswithfoodallergies.org]

10 School Planning Tips When Your Child Has Food Allergies Most children with food allergies are happy and attend school safely every day. That safety and happiness is the result of planning and persistence. A key to success is to work cooperatively with the school to form a partnership that will support your child along the way.

Start by asking lots of questions before your child begins school or begins attending a new school.

1. Communicate with the school.

Start early—if possible, in the spring before the next school year.
Find out if your school or school district has a school nurse.
Write to the principal and school nurse. Tell them about your child’s food allergies and specific needs.
Request a meeting with key people to start the planning process.
Ask if the school/school district has any food allergy management policies in place.
Inquire about staff training.
Get copies of the forms you will need to have filled out before school starts. This includes:

✓ Medication Authorization forms. These forms state if your child can self-carry and/or self-administer medications at school. These forms are required even if the medication will be stored and administered by school staff.
✓ Special Dietary Meals Accommodation form. You will need this form if your child will be eating meals provided by school.
✓ Emergency Action Plan (EAP) form. This form tells caregivers what to do in case of an allergic emergency.

Work with the school to create a comprehensive Food Allergy Management and Prevention Plan. This is typically either an Individualized Health Plan (IHP) or a 504 Plan.

Visit http://www.kidswithfoodallergies.org/page/food-allergy-school-planning-tips-for-parents.aspx to see more tips.

Most Dangerous Sunscreens For Kids

5/27/2015

Sunglasses? Check. Hat? Check Ssunscreen? Check — but wait; is that sunscreen for your kids actually safe? Healthy Child released a list of the 11 sunscreens with the worst EWG ratings. The sunscreens that made the list have potentially harmful chemicals — things like oxybenzone (which can disrupt the hormone system) and retinyl palmitate (which may actually trigger skin damage on sun-exposed skin) — and high SPFs that don't actually do any more to protect your child than an SPF 30-50. Additionally, two formulas come in a spray that won't completely cover your little one's skin and could be inhaled into their lungs.

If any of these are in your bag, toss them and opt for one of these safe sunscreens instead.

Best Sunscreens For Beach & Sport

5/27/2015

Put on the sunscreen! Though lotions and sticks protect baby's skin from cancer-causing UVA and UVB rays, doctors advise new moms to use physical barriers — SPF clothing, umbrellas, and shades — rather than sunscreen on babies younger than 6 months old.

Once kids reach the 6-month mark, keep them protected from the sun without harming them in other ways. The Environmental Working Group's recommendations for the best sunscreens for kids — products that do not contain potential hormone disruptors — is considered the definitive list of safe options. The group recommends staying away from spray-on lotions and powders, as well as those containing oxybenzone or vitamin A. At the top of its list are sunscreens using zinc or titanium for the best UVA/UVB protection without the use of such harmful chemicals. Here are their top picks (many of which can be found at your local drugstore — not just at specialty stores).

New Sugar Bites TV Ads Target Children’s Juice Drinks in Contra Costa County

5/4/2015

Concord, CA – Days after a bill to place warning labels on sugary drinks died in Sacramento, Contra Costa County’s Sugar Bites campaign is launching provocative new television commercials challenging the deceptive marketing tactics used to trick parents into thinking sugary juice drinks are healthy beverages for young children.

The commercials, available in English and Spanish, feature a young child pleading with her mother to purchase a juice drink in the grocery store. The mother is horrified when the container morphs into a toothy monster and she learns that consumption of sugary beverages can lead to tooth decay, obesity, and type II diabetes. First 5 Contra Costa and the Healthy and Active Before 5 collaborative created the ads.

“Most children’s juice drinks contain as much sugar as soda and miniscule amounts of fruit, yet they’re marketed as healthy options for young children,” said Contra Costa Health Services pediatrician and Healthy and Active Before 5 member Dr. Diane Dooley. “The new Sugar Bites ads provide a much-needed counter message for parents barraged by misleading claims from the beverage industry.”

A recent study by the Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity found that most parents believe some sugary drinks are healthy choices for kids, primarily because the labeling and marketing of these products imply they are nutritious. Among parents surveyed with children ages 2 to 5, 80 percent served them juice drinks such as Capri Sun or Sunny D. That’s why researchers recommend that, in addition to product labeling changes, sugary drink health campaigns should focus on juice drinks as well as soda.

“We may not have beverage industry advertising budgets, but we have the science and the truth. And parents have a right to know that sugary drinks are tied to serious, lasting health risks,” said Cally Martin, Deputy Director of First 5 Contra Costa.

According to researchers, sugary drinks are the largest source of added sugar in the diets of children and contribute to childhood obesity. Unless trends change, health advocates say one in three U.S. children born after the year 2000 – and nearly half of Latino and African American children – will develop type II diabetes in their lifetimes. Already half of California children experience tooth decay before kindergarten.

The Sugar Bites commercials will run through July on Contra Costa cable stations and online. The campaign also includes a two-minute video with tips for parents to cut back on sugary drinks and serve their children water instead.

Watch the commercial/video:

·       Sugar Bites 30-Second TV Ad: https://youtu.be/TzPS6ELoZ1I

·       Sugar Bites 2-Minutes Informational Video: https://youtu.be/8U91Rby-O3Q

To learn more, visit the campaign website: www.cutsugarydrinks.org.

About First 5 Contra Costa

First 5 Contra Costa helps young children start school healthy, nurtured and ready to learn by investing in programs and activities focused on children during their first five years, the most important time in children's development. Since 2000, First 5 Contra Costa has invested more than $120 million in Proposition 10 tobacco tax funds to help Contra Costa’s children get the best possible start in life. Learn more: www.firstfivecc.org.

About Healthy and Active Before 5

Healthy and Active Before 5 is a collaborative committed to reducing childhood obesity in Contra Costa County. The collaborative includes 50 Contra Costa community organizations who serve families with children up to age five. Learn more: www.healthyandactivebefore5.org.

What To Do If Your Child LOses A Permanent Tooth

1/7/2015

If Your Child has lost or knocked out one of their permanent or adult teeth, here is some advice from UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital Oakland

Top Strategies For Dealing With Defiant Toddler

1/3/2015

Question:
I don’t know what has happened to my beautiful baby! We were so excited when Evelyn started walking right after her birthday. We thought that it would make life so much more fun for her and us when we could go places and do things with her without having to hold her or strap her in a stroller. It’s been a few months and now I dread leaving the house—she is so difficult to take anywhere. She runs away, won’t listen, and then laughs when I try to stop her. She does the same sort of thing at home, but not as extreme, and it’s not as embarrassing. I feel like she’s saying “No” even when she’s not talking! What can we do?

Answer:Sounds like you have a toddler now, not a baby!

A toddler’s saying “No” is a symbol of her increasing ability to tell you she has a will of her own. Most toddlers, just like Evelyn, begin saying “No” in non-verbal ways for months before they say the word. Do you remember the first time she pulled back from a spoonful of food you offered her and shook her head from side to side? The shaking movement of an infant to avoid her parent’s spoon is one of the earliest ways she says “No”!

Once a 1-year old begins to express “No” you will probably see an increase in the number and variety of ways she resists you. The term “oppositional behavior” has been used to describe this resistance, because at times parents feel that whatever they suggest, the child wants to do the opposite. At times you may feel as though whatever you say or do it’s wrong. As one parent said, “I asked my toddler if she wanted a cookie or ice cream. She threw herself on the floor saying ‘No! No!’ I finally found out she wanted a cupcake like she had a week ago, but we didn’t have any. I can’t figure out how to make her happy.”

If you try to please a defiant 1-year-old, you probably won’t be successful. The more absurd and trivial her demands are, the less likely they are to be ones that you can fulfill. In fact, if you keep attempting to please her, you may find that she simply increases her demands until you are exhausted, angry, and finally willing to say “No” to her as well.

If parents can treat their toddler’s negativity as a part of normal daily life, they find it easier to stay casual and matter-of-fact when they are faced with an outburst. When your one year old says “No!” check to see if she is resisting something that she is reasonably within her rights to resist. If she refuses to eat her cereal, or to wear her pink socks, or to kiss Aunt Mildred, it’s okay. to respect her “No!” But if she refuses to sit in her car seat, or to let you change her diaper, or to put down the scissors she found in the desk drawer, you’ll have to be firm.

No matter what the issue, it helps to stay calm. Most parents try either to give their child a brief explanation of why she can’t have or do what she wants, or ignore her protests and get on with their activities. As you watch your toddler’s reactions to these different responses, you’ll figure out which ones work best for both of you.

Occasionally parents are told that a toddler learns to say “No!” because she hears it from others, and that if parents can avoid confronting their children with the “N” word they won’t hear it directed back at them later. This advice sends parents the message that their toddler’s defiant “No!” is something bad to be avoided. In fact, your toddler’s saying “No!” is an important sign that she is becoming her own person, willing to take the risk of defying the parents she loves and needs. It may be too much to ask parents to enjoy this stage of development, but it is a stage that should give you the satisfaction that your child is ready to begin becoming independent.

You don’t need to be so strict with your toddler that you wind up challenging her into a battle of wills about issues that don’t matter. That battle has no winner. If you force your child to give in she will feel angry and resentful. If you then decide to give in because it’s not worth a fight you will feel silly for taking on the issue in the first place.

StrategiesOne strategy that often works to avoid head on collisions is to offer your one year old a choice between two realistic options. Instead of asking “Do you want milk?” ask, “Do you want milk in the red cup or the blue cup?” Instead of, “Do you want to go shopping?” ask, “Do you want to go to the store now or after a story?” Don’t ask her to make a choice that isn’t reasonable: “Do you want to take your nap now or later?” isn’t a fair question to ask an overtired and cranky toddler. Offering choices is one way to avoid some negative responses, but it won’t always be practical and will not help you to avoid ever having to deal with your child refusing to cooperate.

Some toddlers can be more challenging than others because of inborn temperamental characteristics. For example:

An active toddler will have more trouble being cooperative in situations where she has to be still. She’s resist sitting in a stroller or car seat or in a group because she needs to move, not just because she’s being oppositional.

A persistent and non distractible toddler can be stubborn and refuse to follow even the most clear limits. The best that you can do will be to be very firm and act rather than argue (as in take away a toy immediately if he throws it, remove him from the table if he spits his food)

An intense toddler may shriek or scream when you tell her no or try to keep her from doing something she wants to do. Her protests may tempt you to back down or to walk on eggshells to avoid frustrating her.

A highly sensitive toddler may seem oppositional when she is actually trying to avoid a situation that is physiologically uncomfortable, such as being in a noisy environment or wearing clothing that scratches her.

Figuring out how to manage Evelyn’s behavior, whether it stems from her age and stage of development, her temperament, or from causes that once understood can be resolved will be a challenge, but over time the patterns that are unique to her will emerge.

The bottom line is this: all toddlers, sometime between 1-1/2 and 3, will begin to be unreasonably and mystifyingly resistant. It’s not a sign that you have a difficult child or that you are a failure as a parent. It’s simply a stage and it will pass (and recur, and pass, and recur again . . . sorry to say!)

Meg Zweiback, RN, MPH, is a certified pediatric nurse practitioner and family consultant in Oakland. She is an associate clinical professor of nursing at University of California, San Francisco and posts articles and other resources on her Web site, bringingupkids.com. To possibly have your question included, please send your questions to editor@parentspress.com

Should I Be Concerned With My Child Sucking His-Her Thumb?

12/27/2014

It’s Usually Fine, Depending on the Intensity

Question:
     Our 3-year-old Jamie is sweet and bright and pretty. Her only “flaw” is that in between playing or talking or running around, she’s likely to be sitting somewhere sucking her thumb. It’s not constant, by any means. In fact, when we are at a park or out with friends, she hardly ever has her thumb in her mouth. But once she’s home, she grabs her “lovey” (a striped blanket she’s had since she was a baby) and heads for the sofa where she hunkers down for some sucking time. If we distract her or she hears her sister playing, she’s usually done in a few minutes. She puts her blanket on the hook in her room (which we installed when the dog seemed as fond of it as she was), and then she’s her usual busy self. At pre-school no one seems to care — in fact, at circle time, she’s one of several who suck their thumbs or twist their hair. But we get a lot of negative comments from grandparents and other family members. What should we do
about this?

Answer:
     Don’t worry! Jamie is doing just fine.
     Sucking is the first way that babies learn to soothe themselves, and almost all babies and toddlers take pleasure in sucking their thumbs or fingers or a pacifier. It’s a myth that babies who don’t breast feed are more likely to suck their thumbs or a pacifier. In fact, some babies actually prefer to get their soothing without the added calories! As most children get older, they gradually suck less and less during the day, but they may continue to suck when they are falling asleep or feeling distress.
Some children, like Jamie, develop habitual patterns of comforting themselves throughout the day. Sometimes it’s only when they are tired or in the midst of transitions. Sometimes the habit evolves, as you’ve observed with Jamie, into sucking while holding a lovey, sitting in a special place and going through a familiar routine. When the habit is pacifier sucking, parents can control access to a pacifier or remove it entirely. You don’t have that choice with a child’s thumb!
     Fortunately, there is no evidence that a 3-year-old’s thumb sucking is harmful to her. In fact it’s probably helpful.
     Here’s why: Children who suck their thumbs have the ability to calm themselves readily, often before they
get so unhappy that a parent notices that they are upset. If you expect your child to give up such a useful way of coping, what will be her substitute? Will she still be able to quiet herself when she is feeling stressed, or to fall asleep independently? Future teasing isn’t a cause for concern. A pre-school age child doesn’t worry about what others think of her now, and she can’t imagine or care what the future might be like.
     The only reason to discourage thumb sucking in a 3- to 5-year-old, or in any child, is if the degree of sucking is so frequent and of such intensity that it is likely to interfere with permanent tooth development. This would be highly unusual at this age. If a 5- to 6-year-old child sucks her thumb with strong suction throughout the day and night, many dentists would advise parents to intervene. However, you have noticed already that Jamie has long periods when she does not suck and that she is gradually becoming less dependent on her thumb; her teeth may not be affected at all as she gets older. (If her parents have overbites or needed braces, Jamie might still need an orthodontist no matter what you do!)
      There are a few things you can do now to help Jamie continue to gradually reduce her dependency on her thumb. The first is to make sure that she is also developing other ways to soothe herself and to accept comfort from others. Make sure that Jamie gets lots of hugs and cuddle time. Encourage her to practice relaxation in ways that don’t involve her thumb: stretching and splashing in a bathtub, blowing bubbles, playing with sand or clay and doing slow deep breathing while you play music. These aren’t strategies to “fix” the thumb sucking. This is long-term skill building that will be helpful to any of your children.
      Many young children suck when they are bored or when they are in a situation where they have learned to automatically suck their thumbs. At those times, a child doesn’t need comfort. She’s just unconsciously doing what she’s used to doing. You can interrupt that type of sucking (or any other unconscious habit) by introducing an activity that is incompatible with the habit. For example, you may notice that providing Jamie with something else to do with her hands — holding a doll, drinking a glass of milk, doing a puzzle — gives her enough distraction for her to forget about sucking. If she tends to suck her thumb when you are driving in the car, you can give her an interesting toy to play with. Having a conversation or singing a song together may also keep her mouth busy without her thumb. You aren’t trying to stop the thumb sucking all the time; you are just substituting ways for her to keep her hands busy.
     Sometimes a child’s sucking pattern is connected to a comfort object, as you’ve noticed with Jamie and her blanket. By having her keep the blanket at home, in a special place, you have helped her to think first before she decides when and where she wants to suck. That’s a good way to interrupt an automatic habit. However, I would not advise you to set any further limits on blanket use now — when Jamie needs comfort, her blanket and thumb are valuable, not harmful.
     You may hear that children should have their thumbs painted with nasty tasting substances to discourage thumb sucking. Some parents who have taken this path regret it later. They discover that their child develops another habit that may be less pleasant than the thumb sucking — lip licking and nose picking are common — or that their child becomes whinier and more easily distressed without a way to comfort herself.
     If a parent reacts with disapproval when a child sucks her thumb, or even worse, nags her to stop, the thumb sucking is likely to increase. Some children will become defiant and suck more in reaction to comments. Others will simply hide the thumb sucking from the critical parent and may wind up seeking ways to sneak in extra sucking time.
     Comments from adults other than parents or regular caregivers aren’t as likely to cause this kind of rebound effect. However, children naturally avoid being with people who disapprove of them, so you may want to advise critical family members to keep quiet.
     You can also explain to them that pediatric and pediatric dental organizations have all issued statements that thumb sucking does not need to be interrupted at this age, if ever. If that doesn’t work, you’ll be setting a good example to your child about resisting peer pressure if she hears you say, “We think it’s fine for Jamie to suck her thumb, and we don’t see it as a problem.”

Meg Zweiback is a certified pediatric nurse practitioner and family consultant in Oakland. She is an associate clinical professor of nursing at University of California, San Francisco and posts articles and other resources on her Web site, bringingupkids.com. To possibly have your question included, please send your questions to editor@parentspress.com

What You Need to Know About Toddlers, Sharing and Social Play

12/24/2014

The Ins and Outs of Sharing and Sociable Play

Question:
    My toddler is fighting over toys. He’s so sweet at home, but he will grab and hit when he’s with other children. Our baby group that meets once a week is falling apart because some of the now 15-month-olds can’t share their toys. Instead of peaceful play, we have toddler meltdowns. Some of the moms are ready to quit. How can we fix this?

Answer:
     When a 1-year-old is with other toddlers, you will see him behave in ways you haven’t observed at home. One-year-olds enjoy being with other children, but their play is not the sociable interaction that parents can expect from 3- and 4-year-olds. If you understand what you can reasonably expect from a group of toddlers, you will be able to enjoy yourself more and help your child to gradually learn how to play with others.
    Think about how your toddler plays with a parent. He probably demands your attention, he wants you to respond to him right away and he probably likes to tell you what to do, rather than the other way around. His highest compliment to you, or to a visitor, is to bring you a toy. He may decide that it is a lovely game to continue to bring toy after toy, but he may also decide that it is time to take away the toys. Of course, an adult doesn’t mind having a toy truck deposited in her lap and then removed. However, when your 1-year-old wants to play this game with another child who also wants to control the giving and taking, the two toddlers may wind up in a tugging match.
     The “give and take” of play is not something a toddler can understand yet. If a parent pressures a 1-year-old to “share nicely,” the toddler will cling even more strongly to his possession, even if the object of desire belongs to someone else. In fact, some children who are constantly pressured to share will get so anxious about being forced to let go that they will hold on even tighter, becoming more possessive than they would have been if left alone.
     Toddlers also want to imitate what someone else is doing. A toy may be ignored by two children for half an hour, but as soon as one toddler picks it up and begins to play with it, the other toddler wants it for himself. Within moments, quiet play can dissolve into an intense battle. Most of the time, the struggle will be brief, because 1-year-olds, despite the passions of the moment, don’t attach the larger meaning to these quarrels that their parents do.
     That doesn’t mean that adults should ignore warring toddlers. Adults need to intervene when children are struggling and redirect their play, but they shouldn’t pass judgment on the behavior as being selfish or aggressive. They must simply tailor their responses to the needs of each child to help the child learn to play with less conflict.
     If your child always seems to grab from others, he may need to have you stay close by him. If he starts to move in on another child, distract him with another toy or try to engage both children in playing with you. Helping your child to avoid getting into repeated conflicts gives him a chance to find ways of having fun without being labeled as a bully.
     Some toddlers don’t seem to mind if another child pushes them aside or takes their toys. They may cry for a moment or simply find something else to do. A parent may worry that his child is being too passive and feels that he should stand up for himself. But in another year, the child will have the maturity and the verbal skills to be able to assert himself more. At this age it’s best to allow him to react in the way that he chooses. If he comes to you for comfort, you can help him to find another activity. If he is very upset, you can verbalize his feelings by saying, “It makes you sad when Jimmy takes your toy.” But if you give him too much attention and sympathy, he may figure out that it is more interesting to be the victim than it is to solve problems on his own.
     One 18-month-old boy in a playgroup seemed to be so in awe of an older and bigger toddler that he allowed the other child to grab all of his toys without protest. His mother saw the disappointment on her son’s face but refrained from getting involved. One day, when the children were playing outside, she saw her son quickly set aside the shovel and pail he was using when he noticed the other child approaching. Her son picked up a plastic car, and the bigger boy, as usual, took it from him right away. Her son went back to the shovel and pail he had been playing with in the first place, and his mother realized that he had figured out a way to solve the problem on his own!
     There are some ways to teach toddlers about sharing and playing sociably. (Sometimes it works better to use the phrase “taking turns”). When you play together, take one toy and say, “Will you take turns with me?” and if he says yes, thank him. If he refuses, say, “Maybe you’ll want to take turns later.” When your toddler wants to taste your food, or wants you to taste his, label that “sharing.” Let your child learn that sharing is a nice word to hear, not a word that he only hears when there is a conflict.
     To further prevent conflicts you can plan ahead when your toddler will be playing with others. As the number of children playing together increases, so does the level of stimulation and potential for conflict. Parents need to stay close to toddlers at play rather than waiting for problems to occur before moving in. If certain toys are very popular, it’s a good idea to have several of them. If a child has a special toy he never shares, it’s best not to bring it to the group. Having activities that everyone can be a part of, such as water play or messing with play dough, will keep toddlers satisfied. When you take your child on a visit, if he brings a few of his own toys, the host child may find it easier to share. When you leave, be prepared to distract your child from his host’s toys by offering a favorite object from home that you’ve saved for this moment. Don’t stop on the way home to buy the toy that your child couldn’t let go of — he may be much less interested in it if no one else is playing with it!
     Think about this year as the time to teach your child what it means to be sociable, and how much fun it can be to be with other children. Prevent conflict when possible, don’t force the issue of sharing, and wait until your child is 3 years old before expecting him to understand another child’s point of view some of the time.

Meg Zweiback is a certified pediatric nurse practitioner and family consultant in Oakland. She is an associate clinical professor of nursing at University of California, San Francisco and posts articles and other resources on her Web site, bringingupkids.com. To possibly have your question included, please send your questions to editor@parentspress.com